Why is it that we crave to be
recognized, to be made much of, to be encouraged? Why is it that we are such
snobs? Why is it that we cling to our exclusiveness of name, position,
acquisition? Is anonymity degrading, and to be unknown despicable? Why do we
pursue the famous, the popular? Why is it that we are not content to be
ourselves? Are we frightened and ashamed of what we are, that name, position and
acquisition become so all-important? It is curious how strong is the desire to
be recognized, to be applauded. In the excitement of a battle, one does
incredible things for which one is honoured; one becomes a hero for killing a
fellow man. Through privilege, cleverness, or capacity and efficiency, one
arrives somewhere near the top - though the top is never the top, for there is
always more and more in the intoxication of success. The country or the business
is yourself; on you depend the issues, you are the power. Organized religion
offers position, prestige and honour; there too you are somebody, apart and
important. Or again you become the disciple of a teacher, of a guru or Master,
or you co-operate with them in their work. You are still important, you
represent them, you share their responsibility, you have and others receive.
Though in their name, you are still the means. You may put on a loincloth or the
monk's robe, but it is you who are making the gesture, it is you who are
renouncing.
In one way or another, subtly or grossly, the self is nourished and
sustained. Apart from its antisocial and harmful activities, why has the self to
maintain itself? Though we are in turmoil and sorrow, with passing pleasures,
why does the self cling to outer and inner gratifications, to pursuits that
inevitably bring pain and misery? The thirst for positive activity as opposed to
negation makes us strive to be; our striving makes us feel that we are alive,
that there is a purpose to our life, that we shall progressively throw off the
causes of conflict and sorrow. We feel that if our activity stopped, we would be
nothing, we would be lost, life would have no meaning at all; so we keep going
in conflict, in confusion, in antagonism. But we are also aware that there is
something more, that there is an otherness which is above and beyond all this
misery. Thus we are in constant battle within ourselves. The greater the outward
show, the greater the inward poverty.
(Krishnamurti)
